Tara isolated herself from the world. She didn’t speak to her parents or close friends. She stopped going to work. She didn’t pick up calls. She didn’t eat or sleep. Weeks passed since she spoke a word. Her best friend, Anjali, came to meet her every now and then, but Tara didn’t budge. She had become a statue.

Everything in the house reminded her of Aakash. The wind chimes on their bedroom balcony. Aakash had got them on Friendship Day. The bangle stand on the dressing table. The kitchen curtains, which they had painted together. The big green suitcase that they took along to their last Shimla trip. They broken glass of their living room show-case, which accidently broke when Aakash was playfully tickling Tara and she ran around like a kid.

These are Aakash’s memories that I treasure. But these are too painful. Still feels that Aakash will walk in just any moment. But then.. I would be waiting all my life & he would never come..

One day, Tara’s home door-bell rang. Anjali opened the door. It was her in-laws. Anjali, slowly, let them in. They didn’t seem happy seeing Anjali.

‘Where is Tara?’, they demanded.

Anjali just pointed towards the bedroom. ‘Oh no! Things don’t seem to be okay’, she thought.

She soon heard loud voices coming from inside.

‘We have been trying to reach you since weeks! And no response?? What do you think you are? Just within 1 year of marriage, everything has gone wrong. First, Aakash moved out of home. All for you. Poor guy worked so hard to get you this luxurious house. My poor son! You took his life..!!’, her mother-in-law accused her angrily. ‘And look at her. Still wearing coloured clothes. Don’t you have any shame? You have no right to stay in this house now. We don’t want to keep any relation with you..’

Tara was petrified on spot. Her tearful eyes became wide with fear. She felt lonely and weak. It was extremely painful for her to go through this. I am Aakash’s killer?? I? She suddenly wanted to go away somewhere and leave her old life behind. Aakash’s love will be with me forever –wherever I am.

She thought about it whole night & as the day dawned upon her window, she saw a bleak ray of hope. She knew where she had to go.

Without saying a word to anyone, she left for Nainital. To her Taijimaa’s place. Her Taijimaa was a widow, who ran a Stree aashram in Nainital.

I hope I'm doing the right thing. She thought on her way to Nainital. Would Aakash be happy about my decision if he knew? She looked towards the sky from her train window. I hope you are looking at me, Aakash.. Your little doll still needs your guidance. She remembered how Aakash spent hours patiently searching for jobs for her & preparing her resume. Tara had lost touch with her academics & Aakash became her teacher. He got her through a good job.

There have been times when she traveled outstation for official work but today she felt unconfident. She looked at everyone with suspicion. Everyone seemed to be a thief or rapist or killer. How will I live through this whole life without Aakash??

She finally managed to reach Nainital and rushed into the comforting arms of her Taijimaa. She could finally feel secure. These were the comforting arms she needed. Taijimaa was her father’s close friend’s wife. She was a widow now & her children stayed out of country. Taijimaa loved Tara and her sister like her own children. She let Tara cry indefinitely. For a few days, Tara sat alone, looking outside her room. Taijimaa spent lot of time with her.. talking about good things.. giving her motivation.. Soon, Tara started eating and walking around the aashram premises. She spent hours looking at the far off valleys, lush trees, colourful flowers; icy winds trying to blow away her pain.

One warm, sunny morning gave her an inspiration to get up on her feet. I cant be living like this. I have to take care of myself as Aakash did. She got ready and walked towards the city. She let her heart lead. She stopped in front of a huge school gate. St. Joseph High School, it read. She wandered in. She spotted a playschool in their premises. Little Flowers Play School. Young, energetic, sweet-looking kids were playing outside the building. She smiled looking at them.

Within 3 days, she had an appointment as a teacher in Little Flowers Play School. At last, her life had some direction.

Soon, her life got into a rountine. Not only did she teach at the school, she did extra work at the school till evening. Back at the aashram, she either helped cook food or paint bedsheets and curtains. Every night, she spoke to Aakash in her heart. Like she used to speak to him during dinner everyday. ‘You know what that snobbish Aarti did today…??? And you know.. Boss gave so much work today,.. God, I got so tired.. And guess what… Rajesh is getting married… And even….’, And Aakash listened to her patiently. She had difficulty in closing her eyes to go off to sleep. Something is amiss from my life. How I be content and sleep. Aakash. He has created a space that no-one can ever fill..

(To be continued..)